There is hope and help.
Too bad Amanda didn't feel close enough to someone - anyone - who she could draw strength from. Without some kind of support - what's to make life seem worth living? Parents - keep in mind - kids feelings are valid - do not discount them in any way. This tragedy needn't have happened. Taking ones life over being bullied is the ultimate defeat - which gives empowerment over to the bully. Emotional support that is stronger than the effects applied by the bullies is critical to defeat the negative effects. A parent is ultimately responsible for the type of self esteem a kid has - and if a parent or a parent to be is not willing to accept that responsibility - they have no business having kids in the first place.
Amanda is dead.. Tragic and sad. She won't see this page. But many "Amanda's" out there will. I only hope that those who feel like she did - and are contemplating the same fate - STOP - and realize - RIGHT NOW - that there is hope and help. Life is not a popularity contest - no matter how much pressure you feel to go along with others in order to gain acceptance. It is not the path to take. It is not necessary. You needn't engage the bullies or their cheerleaders. You may feel lonely. You may feel hopeless. You may feel unworthy. But these are temporary feelings which will pass as long as you seek out better solutions and see the evildoers in their proper light. They aren't the ones to please. Drugs and alcohol only offer temporary relief but will serve only to catapult you into further despair as their effects don't hold up over time. Behavior modification therapy is available and works! There are methods you can learn and employ (such as the triangle of change) which will permanently empower you to overcome the negative feelings and relieve you of the pain. Yes it's hard - but it's worth it.
But you have to take some right steps - and it means coming clean with someone about what is happening - in a setting that offers you real time results. Although a video sent to the world may seem to offer sympathy to your plight, it also opens the doors to haters and trolls, who not unlike bullies, find a distorted pleasure in your pain - and have the benefit of anonymity to keep your negative feelings alive through their feedback. It is not the recommended course of action. Rather, through school Guidance counselors, a trusted teacher, or a call to a suicide hotline can direct you to people who really care - and who can start you on a road of positive benefits. It's your life - your walk - and you must make the effort to start the process. but it will be the best action you ever took - because from there it gets easier.
The one thing that prevented me from following through when feelings of suicide weighed heavy on my mind - was the act of thinking it through a bit further. When I did that, I realized that I needed to stick around so I could know what tomorrow might bring, and there was no way for me to ever know if I took that final way out.
There are people who actually and really do care! Kind helpful people are out there - just as there are bullies, and these caring people can back it up with a plan of action for your life. Give them a chance - and give yourself a chance. Don't fight the impossible fight. You can't win by yourself - you probably know that. And you can defeat the evil of the bully when you have a toolbox of resources. You deserve that much.
Amanda is dead. I only wish she had someone to help her. Someone she trusted and believed in enough. But, her life hasn't been in vain. It has re-raised awareness, and perhaps helped someone from falling victim to her fate. Maybe you.
If you are in a situation - feeling like Amanda did, do not take that final - irreversible - permanent step. Just hang in there a bit longer. Ponder this thought for awhile.
You were put here on Earth - in this lifetime - for a very valuable purpose. This is not about God, Jesus or any religion. It is about reality - and spiritual fact. Who you are on the inside is the spirit. Your body is it's housing, it's shell. There are no two spirits alike - you are like a snowflake - or a butterfly - each uniquely beautiful - yet you are also human - sharing the same basic ingredients - yet each of us has our own unique recipe of ingredients - varying degrees. We are meant to be ourselves - proud - happy and strong in our own uniqueness. This is not an accident. Just because you may not understand what your purpose is yet, doesn't mean there is none - or that you wont find it.
You just need help in searching - and blocking out any negative roadblocks along the way. Bullies are the saddest lot because they are the one's who despite their cheerleaders, are lost the most. They need fans in order to act out - and avoid doing for themselves the hard work. It's easier to cut someone else down than it is to build oneself up. So you have to leave them in the rearview - by what ever means possible. You can't be worried about what they think or are doing. It's their problem. And they've tried to make their problem, your problem. You can choose. I think you know what good that choice has been.
So now it's time to give yourself a break and make the other choice. The wise choice. The choice that will lead to your triumph - in becoming the great person you are - to yourself!
Seek out the help. It's there for the asking. I'm happy to hear of your progress and results along the way. Maybe I can toss an idea your way that's appropriate to your circumstance. Feel free to write me.
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